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5个用心去讲的技巧

时间:2011-04-05 11:44:41  来源:  作者:

5个用心去讲的技巧

 


1. Think Before Speaking
1、三思而后行
When someone asks you a question, don’t just immediately start talking. Take at least ten to twenty seconds (or more) to think about the question and how you want to answer.
当有人问你问题时,不要立即开始回答。思考至少10-20秒或更多时间去思考这个问题或如何回答这个问题。

When I first started dating my husband, I used to get impatient when it would take him a long time to answer my questions but then I realized he was thinking about what to say and I wasn’t used to someone actually taking the time to ponder the question.
当我刚开始和我(现在的)丈夫约会时,我对他要花费一定的时间来回答我的问题非常不耐烦,但是后来我意识到他是在思考如何去回答而我不习惯有人花费时间对问题进行深思。

It touched me so much, I started to do the same and it is amazing how much people really appreciate it when you take their questions seriously.
这对我感触很深,我也开始这样做。这是那么的惊人,人们对你认真对待他们提出的问题如何感激。

2. Choose Your Words Consciously
2、精心措辞
Just because something makes sense to you does not mean it will make sense to the other person.
仅仅因为对你有意义的东西并不表示它对其他人同样有意义。

I have a friend who has a very strange sense of humor. Most of the time, it sounds like he is insulting you but in reality he is not. I don’t think he is aware of what he does and he is always amazed that people get mad at him or feel hurt after speaking to him.
我有一个朋友有一种非常奇怪的幽默感。很多时候,听起来他是在侮辱你,但是实际上他没有。我不认为他明白他所做的。他经常惊讶于在他说话后人们生他的气或者感觉受伤。


Painful
words can cause more damage than physical pain, so choose your words consciously and carefully. Not everyone is willing to give another person a second chance. A sentence uttered without thinking can cause a person to lose their job or
end a relationship
.
刻薄的话可以比疼痛造成更大的伤害,所以精心选择你的措辞。不是所有人愿意给别人解释的机会。一句不假思索的话可以导致一个人被炒鱿鱼或终结一种关系。

3. Speak Your Truth
3、坦诚交谈
Many times when we talk to someone, we like to give off a certain image. We want to appear as
perfect
as possible. We want the other person to like us and to think highly of us. Therefore, many people try too hard to be something they are not and they end up acting that way through a conversation.
很多时候,当我们谈论到某人,我们都会给出一个特定的印象。我们希望尽可能完美。我们希望他人喜欢自己并给我们以高度的评价。因此,很多人试图成为彻底改变自己的形象,而最终一次交谈可能就葬送了这种表象。

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be yourself. That means
speaking your truth
. This does not mean you have to be rude or mean. You can speak your truth with compassion and kindness.
你能做的最好的事情就是做好你自己。那就是坦诚。这不代表你要鲁莽或者刻薄。你应当带有同情心和善心的坦诚交谈。

For example, I once met someone who was very critical of people who were vegans. The funny thing was that the person had no idea that I have been a vegan (
vegetarian
) for 21 years. I had two choices. I could either play along or tell the truth. I went ahead and told the guy the truth.
例如,我曾经碰到一个人对素食主义者有偏见。可笑的是,他不知道我曾经做了21年的素食主义者。我有两个选择,逢场作戏或直言相告。最终,我告诉他了事实真相。

I was calm and told him that I understood his point of view. I went on and shared with him my thoughts on the issue. We ended up having a really great conversation and neither one of us ever had to raise our voice. No one likes to be lied to so don’t lie about who you are.
我平静的告诉他我理解他的观点,然后我和他分享了我在这件事上的看法。最终,我我们确实进行了很好的交谈而没有人被迫去提高嗓门(去反驳对方)。没有人喜欢被骗,所以你要坦诚交待自己。

4. Mean What You Say
4、表达清晰明了
If when talking to someone, you tell them that you will send them a certain document by a certain date, do keep your word. You will earn a lot of respect when you follow through with your promises.
如果你和别人交谈时告诉别人你将在一个特定的时间给他们传一个特定的文档,一定要信守承诺。如果你言而有信你将赢得尊重。

If you have no desire to talk to one person ever again, then do not say you will give them a call sometime. Whether it is in business or romance or with friends, keeping your word goes a long way. A Buddhist master once said to me, “
word, thought and deed have to be one
”. So don’t say you will do something when you really don’t intend to do it.
如果你不希望再和某人交谈就不要说你将会给他们打电话。不管是在商业、浪漫还是和朋友,信守诺言都需要长期坚持。一位佛教大师曾经教诲我:言、思、行要一致。所以在你本不想做某事的时候不要说你将要去做。

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