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女人不想要孩子,是否就不配做女人?

时间:2011-09-25 17:13:57  来源:  作者:

女人不想要孩子,是否就不配做女人?
Josey Vogels
作者:Josey Vogels
I've never had any burning urge to reproduce. There's no family pressure and plenty of grandkids, even great grandkids, from the other siblings. And spending two days at our cottage with a friend's rugrats quelled my urge even more.
我从来没有过想生孩子的强烈愿望。我没有来自家庭的压力,而且(我父母)已经有很多孙儿孙女,甚至重孙儿孙女了,都是我其他的兄弟姊妹生的。并且在和一个朋友的小婴儿们一起在我的小屋过了两天之后,我更是没有生孩子的愿望了。
I admire women who have always known they would have kids, no question. But I also admire the ones who have always known they would not.
我羡慕那些总是知道自己将会要孩子的女人,这点我承认。但是我也同样羡慕那些总是知道自己将不会要孩子的女人。
Like my friend Karen, now in her 40s, she knew by her mid-20s that she never wanted kids and got her tubes tied at 31. "I could not see bringing yet another child into this messed up world," she says. "If I did want kids, I'd prefer to adopt a child who needed a home, rather than create another human being."
就像我的朋友Karen,现在40多岁,她在25岁前就知道自己永远都不会想要孩子,并且在31岁的时候就做了输卵管结扎。“我无法相像给这个本已混乱不堪的世界再添个孩子的做法。”她说,“如果我确实想要个孩子,我更愿意选择领养一个没有家的孩子,而不是在生一个。”1
Frankly, I wish people with kids had to defend their position as thoroughly as those who don't want children. Because, heaven knows, some folks are having kids for the wrong reasons.
说实话,我真心希望那些有孩子的人都得像那些不想要孩子的人一样一丝不苟地捍卫自己的立场。因为有的家伙要孩子确实是出于非正当的理由。1
Say, to have someone to take care of them when they're older.
比如说,是想在他们老了的时候有人能照顾他们。
But, chances are your partner and/or your friends will be more reliable in old age than some kid who will no doubt grow up and move to Australia.
但是,情况有可能是,在你步入老年之时,你的配偶和/或者朋友比有些个无疑要长大然后搬到澳大利亚居住的孩子更可靠。1
Another argument is that people who don't have children are selfish. And your point is? Yes, I like the freedom to work and enjoy life with just little old me to think about. Besides, give me a break. Why do you think people have kids? To further the human race? For the kid's sake? Doubtful. Usually, it's just the thing to do. Or, as Karen says, to create the ultimate accessory. "It's typically women who are oohing and ahhing over all things baby, the teensy clothes/shoes -- 'oh isn't this adorable?' -- photos, all the nursery stuff. It's like a commodity."
另有观点认为不想要孩子的人都是自私的。你怎么认为呢?诚然,我喜欢可以自由工作,并且享受只需惦记我自己这个小老太婆的生活状态。此外……饶了我吧。你觉得大家为什么要生孩子?为了人种的延续?为了生孩子而生孩子?不好说。一般来说,这就是要做的事情。亦或正像Karen所说的,是制造基础配饰。“那些看见和婴儿有关的各种事物、小童装/小童鞋、婴儿照片、各种婴儿护理用品就大惊小怪地喊‘哦哟,好可爱,是不是呀?!’的(人)都是典型的女人。孩子就像她们的日常用品。”
Sure, some people have kids because they genuinely like them, but there are plenty of folks who don't.
当然,有的人要孩子是因为他们真的很喜欢孩子,但是也有很多家伙根本就不喜欢孩子。
The last big grief people who choose not to have kids hear is this: "You'll regret it." There are plenty of things I could regret if I let myself. But I certainly don't want to have a kid just in case I regret not having one. Karen says she hasn't regretted her decision for one second. "If I feel the desire to be around children, I have my sister's kids -- and remember, I don't hate the little buggers in the least!"
选择不要孩子的人所听到的最后的大灾难就是:“你会后悔的!”如果我想后悔的话,其实有大堆的事情让我后悔。但我肯定不愿意只为了防止万一我会后悔没有孩子而生个孩子。Karen说她对自己的决定一秒也没后悔过。“如果我觉得需要有孩子在身边作伴,我可以找我姐姐(妹妹)的孩子——还有,记住,我一点也不讨厌这些小混蛋!”
Okay, let me say it too. I enjoy kids, sort of. I like the fun stuff but I'm always ready to hand them back after an hour or so. New mothers always say it's different with your own. But what if it's not? You can't toss 'em back.
好啦,我也想这么说。在某种程度上,我还是喜欢孩子的。我喜欢(和孩子在一起的)那些有趣的部分,但是我也随时准备好在和他们呆上一、两个小时后把他们送回去。刚做母亲的人总会说如果是你自己的孩子(情况)就会不一样。但是如果(即使是你自己的孩子)情况还是一样呢?你总不能把他们扔回娘胎里去吧?
Obviously, we have some genetic disposition to reproduce or the race would have ended long ago. But it's not for everyone. And I don't want to feel inadequate or less of a complete woman for not popping out a kid.
显然,我们对生孩子这件事还持有某种遗传角度的倾向,否则的话,人类早灭绝了。但并不是每个人都需要赞同这件事。我真地不想因为没有生出个孩子来就感觉自己不配做女人或者不是一个完整的女人。

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